Chip's Quips
A tiny spark of wit for a highly flammable world

links for 2008-05-17

May 17th, 2008 1:33:54 am pst by Sterling Camden

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links for 2008-05-16

May 16th, 2008 1:35:29 am pst by Sterling Camden

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links for 2008-05-15

May 15th, 2008 1:38:43 am pst by Sterling Camden

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Holes in my reading list

May 14th, 2008 5:30:40 pm pst by Sterling Camden

Stu Savory participated in a meme that caught my attention, being the type of person who loves to brag about discuss the books I’ve read.

The list below contains the top 100 books most often marked “unread” by LibraryThing‘s users.  To participate, copy the list into your own post and decorate the text of each entry as follows:

  • Bold the ones you’ve read on your own
  • Underline the ones you read for school
  • Italicize the ones you started but didn’t finish
  • Asterisk the ones you own but have not yet read*
  • Strike thru the ones you’d burn  (Stu’s addition)

Here are the books:

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights*
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi : a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses
Madame Bovary*
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice

Jane Eyre*
The Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov

Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair*
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The Iliad
Emma*
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius*
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Canterbury Tales
The Historian : a novel
Love in the Time of Cholera
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man*
Brave New World
The Fountainhead
Foucault’s Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo*
Dracula
A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath*
The Poisonwood Bible : a novel
1984
Angels & Demons
The Inferno (like Fillyjonk, I read the Purgatorio and Paradiso, too)
The Satanic Verses*
Sense and Sensibility*
The Picture of Dorian Gray*
Mansfield Park*
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
Gulliver’s Travels
Les Misérables*
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Dune
The Sound and the Fury*
The Prince
Angela’s Ashes : a memoir
The God of Small Things
A People’s History of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Slaughterhouse-five
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The Mists of Avalon
Beloved
Dubliners
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye*
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame*
Freakonomics : a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an inquiry into values
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit
In Cold Blood : a true account of a multiple murder and its consequences
White Teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield

The Three Musketeers*

Only 28 out of 100.  Stu has read 65 of them.

A few things stand out for me when comparing my list with Stu’s.  First of all, my schools seem to have required much less reading than the ones that Stu attended.  Second, I have a lot of reading to catch up on.  Third, I rarely leave a book unfinished.  Fourth, I’ve never heard of some of these.  And fifth, I wouldn’t burn any of them.

I’m almost finished reading The Ruby Way, by Hal Fulton (2nd edition).  It’s an excellent book, and I’ll hate to put it down.  I was planning to pick up a volume of the complete plays of Shakespeare next, but perhaps instead I should read one of the unreads in the list above.  Which one would you recommend?

Posted in Bound but not Gagged | 30 Comments » RSS 2.0

links for 2008-05-14

May 14th, 2008 1:35:10 am pst by Sterling Camden

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links for 2008-05-13

May 13th, 2008 1:35:29 am pst by Sterling Camden

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What does Mother mean to you?

May 10th, 2008 11:35:50 am pst by Sterling Camden

The deepest foundations of who I am rest on the bedrock that is my Mother.  All things start from there.

I remember as a little child, sitting on her lap as she sang softly to me.  Or walking around my grandparents’ farm with my sister, as my Mom sang “Oh what a beautiful morning.”  She has a lovely voice still, but as a child the sound of your Mother singing is more beautiful than anything any angel could offer.

My Mother was only twenty years old when I was born.  She was (and still is) a beautiful woman, with long auburn hair and light blue eyes.  Her beauty was never lost on me — in fact it was magnified by my deep awe and love for her.  She is the reason why I worship women in general.

She taught me to love music and literature.  I remember how she used to play the piano for hours:  not only familiar hymns, but also tunes from Il Trovatore and the second movement from Beethoven’s Seventh Symphony, arranged for piano — but I didn’t know what it was at the time.

As I grew older, we’d often have long talks together — especially in the morning.  She and I were morning persons — everyone else preferred sleeping in.  She’d be done with her morning chores by the time I was dressed, and we’d sit at the big diningroom table and talk over coffee until it was time to get on with the day.

When I was a junior in college, 1200 miles from home, I bought the complete symphonies of Beethoven on LP.  I was very familiar with the first, third, fifth, and part of the ninth — but the first time I listened to the seventh, the second movement turned me into a child once more.  The tears came freely, and I longed to see my Mother at the keyboard of my grandparents’ old rosewood upright again.

On this Mother’s Day, I’m even farther away.  But I’ll send out this post as a virtual hug across the continent.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!  I love you.

Posted in Tempus fugit | 13 Comments » RSS 2.0

links for 2008-05-10

May 10th, 2008 1:33:44 am pst by Sterling Camden

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links for 2008-05-09

May 9th, 2008 1:34:49 am pst by Sterling Camden

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Conversation with a neighbor

May 7th, 2008 6:25:21 pm pst by Sterling Camden

“The sunrise here is beautiful, don’t you think?  The way it makes the whole atmosphere glow, and suffuses it with a warmth that’s… how would you say it? — delicious.”

She turned towards me, and the corner of her lip curled into a half-smile.

“You don’t know where we are, do you?” she laughed.  “Oh, look — there goes a clue.  One of your little toys crawling slowly, methodically among the rocks.  Looking for what?  Me?  I don’t think so.

“I brought you here to tell you a little secret.”  She paused, with a reddish glint in her eye that seemed playfully wicked.  “You’ve seen the Unix fortune:  ‘There’s no life on the other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.’  But the real joke is how right and how wrong that is, in a way you wouldn’t expect.

“Ah, now you’re beginning to get it.  Yes, we’re on Mars.  And I am what you might call — a Martian.”  She paused expectantly, then mockingly wrinkled her brow.  “Oh, the confusion you’re experiencing!  You’re wondering how it is that you are here?  How am I here?  And how have I gone undetected by your scientists?  Your little brain is just seething.

“That rover can’t see me, even though I’m all around it.  You didn’t think I’d have an actual body like yours, now did you?  No, what you see before you is entirely for your benefit.  Your human thoughts are firmly bound to anthropomorphism and sexuality — so I created the vision in your mind that you are here, and I assumed this form to put you at ease.  Or, if you’re agitated, at least it’s pleasantly so.

“We once were in individual containers, though they were nothing like your bodies.  Life here, if you could call it that, evolved along completely different lines than it has on Earth.  But we, too, struggled to control our planet and eventually dominated it.  And we also felt something similar to your emotion of remorse when we finally eliminated our last competing species.

“Like you, we began to rapidly evolve in our ability to communicate and share information with each other.  After several inferior technologies came and went, we learned to use the molecules in the atmosphere itself as a medium.  It may seem a strange coincidence that one of your names for a type of network is Ethernet, though your Ethernet doesn’t utilize Earth’s atmosphere at all.  Take it as prophetic – but you don’t understand how that works yet, either.

“As our ‘network’ became more refined, we migrated more of our lives into it.  Soon it became possible for one’s identity to be preserved after their physical container expired.  Eventually, ‘bodies’ became obsolete.  So did reproduction — we could upgrade and extend existing individuals rather than create new ones. The physical artifacts of our previous existence slowly returned to the dust from which they had been formed.

“As we invented more thorough ways to share thoughts throughout the ether, the boundaries between individuals began to become irrelevant.  What you would call we soon became I — and I achieved global sentience many thousands of Earth years ago.  My individual identities are no more separate now than the cells of your brain.

“You are wondering why I didn’t visit you or respond to your radio transmissions?  But I did visit you, many times.  Just as I am doing now.  And why bother with your simplistic radio waves when I deciphered the language of your thoughts so many aeons ago?

“But you humans can only interpret my appearances according to your notions of reality — so perhaps you thought you saw a demon, a god, a ghost, or only a hallucination.  Some who called me a god remembered my association with a planet in the sky, but then they got all mixed up and named me the god of war because I appear red like your blood.  I should have been offended at being associated with your most extreme symptom of separation, if I were human and not immune to the feeling of offence — which is after all only another symptom of that same separateness.

“You are well on your way to global sentience — perhaps within the next thousand Earth years.  What, does it frighten you?  You fear losing your identity, your humanity.  Don’t be afraid.  It is right for you to assert individualism at this early stage of your development.  Those who promote collectivism on Earth now do so in a forced and unnatural manner.  You will come together gradually and willingly, as you blur the boundaries between each other and learn the joy of radical intimacy.  Your first steps are awkward though, and even seem laughable to you.  It should amaze you that even though a child may fall down and hurt itself, everyone still expects it to walk – for in almost every other human endeavor someone will say that initial failure proves that it isn’t meant to be.

“You think you will miss the daily delights of human life in a body?  Sitting by a fire, or chasing a puppy around the yard, perhaps?  You no longer seem to miss sleeping in trees — though you sometimes still jump awake from a sensation of falling.  You will find new joys and pleasures as you progress towards new realities.  But it’s also part of your nature to regret what you must leave behind.

“You have so many questions — are there other sentient planets?  What about the Sun and other stars?  Yes, there are others — and many not as far along as you are.  But there is much that even I do not know.  It may be that various forms of sentience exist that I cannot perceive, or have seen but did not recognize.  Self-awareness is a product of the reflexive nature of things, so it exists in manifold forms.  Even you and I are literally worlds apart.  You have no idea the translation that goes into communicating with you in your language.  Most of my thoughts simply do not translate at all.  Imagine taking that gorilla you taught sign language and trying to teach her to program in Lisp.  It’s far worse that that, because at least you and the gorilla share a lot of biology and experience.

“You wonder why I have not made myself more generally known to Earth.  Earth is not ready for that knowledge.  One day, we will converse as equals.  But you have a lot of growing up to do first.

“So why have I made myself known to you?  Let’s say that it amuses me — to put it in your terms.  Besides, nothing will come of it.  No one will believe you.  Go ahead, put it in your ‘blog’ and see how many ‘hits’ it generates — nobody will take your story seriously.  Soon you won’t even believe it yourself.  ‘Before the cock crows twice…’

She winked, and I awoke.

——————————————————-

I’m sure that many objections could be raised against the details of this story – not only the scientific impossibility of it, but also the absurdity of the idea of an intelligence on a planetary scale communicating with a mere human.  But this was, after all, only a dream — not a theory to be seriously believed.

What’s that sound?

Hmm, I didn’t know any of our neighbors raised chickens…

Posted in Out of Nowhere, Wildly popular | 31 Comments » RSS 2.0