Internet discussions often follow a predictable pattern. Mike Godwin observed that they inevitably seek out the lower ground of Nazi comparisons. Long before that, however, they descend through argumentum ad hominem, which is a way of saying “personal attacks” in Latin so you look smarter than the jerk you’re accusing of using them.

There should be an Internet Law (“law” as in “description of the inevitable”, rather than “imposition of the will of the state”), similar to Godwin’s Law, that says that whoever lets their emotions get the better of them and resorts to argumentum ad hominem automatically loses the debate. Perhaps there already is such a rule, but the trouble is that people have a hard time recognizing argumentum ad hominem. How many times have you seen a discussion like this?:

1337dood: Your idiotic ad hominem attacks carry no weight with me.

ieatbrainz: Ad hominem?!! Look who’s talking, calling me an idiot. I wasn’t attacking you personally, it’s what you *SAID* that I called stupid.

1337dood: Obviously you know nothing about logical argument. You’re just a sad and angry troll.

ieatbrainz: Well you’re just a self-important douchebag.

Both of our conversationalists have descended into personal attacks, while accusing each other of that offense. Obviously, we need a simpler guideline. I propose the URA Rule:

Any statement containing the phrase “you are a” (or its equivalent) marks the end of reasonable discussion.

If what follows “you are a” is less than complimentary, then we have an argumentum ad hominem. If it is neutral, then it is still a distraction from reasonable argument — perhaps it’s seeking to analyze the reasons why someone might pursue a line of thought, but it’s focusing on the speaker rather than the ideas under discussion. Even if it’s praise (e.g. “you are a god of philosophy”), we have left the debate hall and entered the temple of personality.

I call it the URA Rule instead of the “You Are A” Rule, for three reasons:

1. It’s more concise, memorable, and easier to type
2. It uses textese, so it fits the milieu of the phenomenon it describes
3. It’s a TLA
4. If you don’t like it, you’re just a pedant.

EDIT: Chad Perrin pointed out that personal attacks per se do not constitute argumentum ad hominem, but only if they are used as part of the argument. He’s right, but I still think they’re a distraction from reasonable argument.

The other side of the coin is when someone thinks you’re attacking them, when in fact you’re really attacking their argument. You can use this rule conversely in that case: you didn’t say “you are a” (or the equivalent).

Up until December, I was pretty happy with Qwest. Even though we could only get 1.5/1.0 over DSL here, we got it reliably. Then all of a sudden, it went down the tubes — or rather, it stopped traversing said tubes. Service failed about a dozen times in December, and was down for as long as eight hours each time. They were having trouble with a DSLAM. That’s understandable, and I retained my patience until about the fifth or sixth time it went down.

I checked into 4G wireless Internet, but here on remote Bainbridge Island it just isn’t ready for prime time.

As much as I hate even remembering my past history with Comcast, I decided to use them for Internet service. I’ve had it for about a month now, it hasn’t gone down yet (knocks on head) and I’ve only had to recycle the modem twice. Best of all, I reliably get 14/6 or thereabouts, which saves me a lot of time working with remote clients.

I finally turned off the Qwest DSL line today. The email confirmation contained this image at the top:

I think they may be right.

My sister sent me the following proposed alternative to the newly instituted intrusive pat-downs and scans at airports:

All we need to do is develop a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have hidden on or in your body. The explosion will be contained within the sealed booth.

This would be a win-win for everyone. There would be none of this crap about racial profiling and the device would eliminate long and expensive trials.

This is so simple that it’s brilliant. I can see it now: you’re in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, “Attention standby passengers, we now have a seat available on flight number…”

Of course, that relies upon the cooperation of the TSA. I have some other suggestions that we passengers can implement ourselves to peacefully protest the intrusion:

• If you’re male, grab a copy of Penthouse at the newsstand and work up something, um, firm for the agent to pat.
• When asked to submit to the pat-down, tell the agent that it’s only fair that you do the same for them once you’re “done”.
• As the agent begins, remark “It’s been so long since anyone’s touched me.” As their hands near your crotch area, close your eyes and start to moan — culminating with a shouted “Stay on it! Yes! YES!!!”
• When asked to remove some item of clothing, take it all off. Yes, the Full Monty. To the agent’s surprised look, respond “Nice one, ain’t it?”

They might not allow you on the plane, but you’d have a lot more fun than squeezing your butt between two fat guys on row 36 anyway.

My wife gave me this lovely picture, with that same caption, from the back of a 2009 puppy calendar.

I just wish he didn’t resemble me so much.

2009 has been a tough year for a lot of people.  Let’s hope 2010 is a big improvement.  Here’s wishing that to you and yours.

The engineers who designed the dashboard controls for our VW Eurovan must have loved fractions.  The tachometer (a questionably useful feature on a van equipped with an automatic transmission) is marked in large increments labeled “10”, “20”, ‘”30”, etc.  In the lower-left corner, this system is explained by the legend: “1/minute x 100”.

If they had simply marked each increment “1000”, “2000”, etc. then they could have simplified the legend to “1/minute” or even the generally recognized “RPM”.  And if the extra zeroes were deemed inefficient, then why not label them “1”, “2”, etc., and change the legend to “1/minute x 1000”?

Perhaps an appreciation for this feat of German engineering lies beyond my lights.

One day, my wife called home on her mobile phone while driving (which is now illegal in Washington) to tell me that the Eurovan was almost out of fuel.  “But I just filled it up!” I cried.

“Well, the needle is right on the line now, so someone must have siphoned off our gas,” replied my wife.

I didn’t have much time to worry about who might have come onto our property to steal fuel, because I needed to catch a ferry as soon as my wife returned – and now I had to worry about taking enough time to fill up the tank en route.  As soon as my wife drove up, we exchanged a hurried greeting and I took off.  Worried that I might run out of gas before I got to the station, I glanced down at the gauge.  It was full.

But I can’t fault my wife too much.  The gauge does not sport the helpful letters “E” and “F” that have become so familiar to American motorists.  No, the VW engineers decided that since they needed to label the midpoint “1/2”, it made perfect sense to be consistent and mark the full end of the spectrum with “1/1”.  They did not label the empty end, however.

I would have expected “1/∞”, or something equally well defined.

I could only wag my head and chuckle sadly as I deleted the email notification of a new comment on one of Chad’s posts.  Looking ahead, I sa

That was 140 characters, so I need not continue.  The Twitteritis epidemic that is sweeping the web prevents many readers from extending their attention beyond that point, requiring them to either comment or move on without further ado.  But for those of us who are not yet infected, I’ll go on:

w that Chad had already responded, and I could guess the tenor of his reply.  I was expecting something along  the lines of “Did you even read my post?”  Instead, he surprised me with his gentle reiteration and quotation of the relevant passage.  Of all the times I’ve chided Chad for being harsh on commenters, this time it would have been deserved.

The article in question concerned Chad’s search for an implementation non-specific web framework for Scheme.  He specifically mentioned that the only web frameworks that he had encountered worked only with PLT Scheme, while Chad uses Ypsilon Scheme.  Yet the commenter (aaron) asked, “Is PLT Scheme’s web framework not fitting your requirements?”

I chalk it up to Twitteritis:  Chad’s post starts with a link to yours truly (thanks, Chad) and a discussion of the Lisp web framework to which I had linked.  Then Chad expresses a desire for something similar for Scheme.  He doesn’t get around to discussing the non-portability of the PLT Scheme web frameworks until around character 2228, well beyond the input buffer size of someone suffering from CUT (Communications Uptake Truncation, aka Twitteritis).  No doubt aaron stretched his powers to their limits just to get to the mention of Scheme at character 1619 before he felt compelled to reply.

This happens over and over again.  Netizens are too hurried, overloaded, or simply lacking in the ability to process details before they must act.  They flit about from site to site in the brave new web of constant novel stimulation, and they probably view those of us who spend more than ten seconds on the same page as the new Philistines.

Dr. Tracy Alloway of the University of Stirling in Scotland finds that short attention span activities like Twitter, texting, and watching YouTube fail to exercise working memory, a key component for success in life.  Games like Sudoku, on the other hand, require the participant to hold more information in working memory and coordinate that information to plan their next moves – thus building strength in that area over time.  She also found that keeping up with friends on Facebook has a beneficial effect on working memory.  To me, Facebook updates seem similar to Twitter – but I’ll admit I’ve had to work my brain pretty hard on several occasions trying to remember someone from my past whom I had taken great pains to forget.

If you read this post up to this point, congratulations – you don’t have Twitteritis.  Yet.

To whomever left the following comment today:

Is not spam, it is only my commercial offer. Sorry if i mistake of topic!

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Not spam, you say?  Perhaps you’re right – if you’re talking about the canned meat-like stuff from Hormel.  While I’m sure the message above is canned, it’s so lacking in the meat department that it makes Hormel’s product look like filet mignon.

You have the balls to apologize for being off topic.  Considering that you left this comment on my Sites page, and none of those sites have anything to do with fertility treatments, I’d venture to say that not even Kevin Bacon could draw a connection between your topic and mine.

What’s most disappointing, though, is that Akismet appeared to agree with you – but I just informed it of its error.

I put up with having to click the “I’m still listening” button every hour or so.

I put up with the ads they started playing in between songs.

But today…

I’m done putting up, ‘cause they’re done putting out.

Back to KPLU, KKJZ or CDs for me.

UPDATE: Joseph reminded me about last.fm, which is apparently still free. I’m there!

Two hundred and thirty-three years ago tomorrow, the Continental Congress ratified the Declaration of Independence, a statement of the reasons for the thirteen American colonies to separate from the United Kingdom – but it has become something quite a bit more meaningful in subsequent history.

As a foundation for “the causes which impel them to the separation”, the authors state:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Personally, I find none of these to be self-evident.

To me, it is supremely evident that all men (and women) are not created equal – that in fact no two people are equal in any respect.  We are all very different, possessing different strengths and weaknesses.  Some of us are better suited than others for various activities.

It’s also evident to me from observing nature and history that neither life, liberty, nor the pursuit of happiness are automatically granted by creation, evolution, or whatever you want to call How Things Got The Way They Are.  These three “rights” have only ever been secured by a lengthy struggle against their corresponding “wrongs” (to play along with the value judgment inherent in the term).

Nevertheless, I do agree with the Lockean notions of self-determination expressed in the rest of this document that led to representative democracy and the eventual enfranchisement of slaves and even women.  Why?  Because experience has taught us that although liberty and equality are not givens in life, institutions that impose artificial limitations on liberty and equality diminish our potential — individually and collectively.

It is not possible to institutionalize an effective recognition of individual differences.  Therefore, government must act as if we were all equal, and let our differences work their way towards their own best purposes.  Government must not circumscribe our liberties, even when we’re unfit to decide for ourselves – because the government is even less fit to decide for us.  Liberty means freedom to decide for ourselves, not freedom from the responsibility for those decisions — or their consequences.

On this Independence Day, I can be thankful that I live in a country that still lets me make most of my own decisions and reap most of my own rewards and failures.  But I worry that increasingly our government wants to make certain decisions for us, and protect us from the consequences of those decisions that still remain in our control.  Government, through a natural attraction towards self-preservation, wants to make itself indispensable.  Governmental involvement leads to a greater dependence on government, and that’s a trend to which I will never add my John Hancock.

And when Polly gets a cracker, Polly will chew him up and spit him out.

This site was compromised a few days ago by a somewhat widespread exploit called “babloo0”.  A number of other WordPress blogs have reported similar attacks, the symptom of which is a series of spam links injected either into post content in the database or into the footer.php theme file.  In my case, it was added to about 8 posts in the database, all recent ones.  The cracker is nice enough to surround these links with an HTML comment that includes the word “babloo0” or “blyat” (the latter is a Russian semi-curse-word, which seems apropos), so you can search your posts for both strings to be sure you haven’t been affected.  Looking at the content as presented on the web doesn’t always show it – in my case, they embedded it within a <p> element that was styled with height:0 and width:0 to avoid detection.  Thanks to TDavid (who saw it in my feed) for alerting me to the problem.

We have yet to determine the attack vector, but some possibilities include SQL injection, cross-site scripting (XSS), capturing the admin password somehow, or somehow getting around WordPress user privileges.  So to be safe I did all of the following:

• Cleaned out the injected content.
• Changed the admin passwords and the database username/password on all of my sites.
• Uploaded WordPress 2.8 on all of my sites (wiping out all previous files in case they were modified).
• Re-uploaded all of my theme files.
• Removed all FTP access to my sites.
• Deleted all theme-editor.php files.  Some users speculated that this may have been an attack vector.  I don’t use the theme editor, anyway.
• Verified that all users other than admin have only Subscriber privileges.
• Rechecked the theme files for any XSS vulnerabilities.

Am I overlooking anything?  Do you have any theories for how this could have happened?  It hasn’t happened again, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed (which makes it pretty hard to type this post).