Wow, I haven’t posted for days. But then, I’ve been somewhat “indisposed”.
Yesterday, I had to go in for a “procedure”. Anywhere but in a hospital, they would call it “sexual abuse” instead. BUT (hahahaha), because I have a younger sibling who fought off cancer in that, um, region, I needed to subject myself to the precautionary shining of the light where it normally don’t.
The preparation for penetration was worse than the event itself. All the day before I was allowed only clear liquids, and nothing at all (not even water) on the day of. That wouldn’t have been so bad if I had been in the hospital. But I had to control my appetite at home while watching my children eat waffles, sandwiches, and pizza. At night I dreamt that I was talking, and my words changed into pieces of buttered toast in the air.
Also on the day before, I had to take medications to, um, clear the path for the imminent inspection. First, pills that gave me bad cramps (I know, I should try being a woman — no thanks). Then the liquid refreshment, which came with all sorts of warnings about its evil taste, vomiting, and other possible side-effects. But after having nothing to eat all day it tasted rather good, I thought. I selected the lemon-lime flavoring. It went down easily – and continued out, well, exuberantly.
The thing that bothered me most was the idea that they planned to erase my memory of the procedure with Versed, which affects short-term memory. I know that the recollection of that event might be traumatic, but just erasing it seems downright Orwellian to me. Give me my pain and my shame, but don’t take over my mind!
So, after I was dressed for the occasion (or rather, undressed) I noted the names of the attending nurses. I’m sure that I fell asleep during the procedure, but afterwards I could still remember that their names were Molly and Lea. So there, Versed. I haven’t forgotten a thing — at least, not that I can recall.
By the way, the doctor told me that everything looked fine in there. At least, as fine as it can look.